Author | Fireworks March

Recently, CCTV’s year -old drama “The World” is currently on the air.

In the context of the Big Times, the fate of the Zhou family was ups and downs, and I saw me crying several times.

The scene where Zhou Bingkun, the youngest son of Zhou family, quarreled with his father, poked my heart deeply.

Facing his father’s reprimand, Zhou Bingkun said tears in tears and said for so many years of grievances.

“It’s all raised by a father and a mother.

How uncomfortable I know?

My biggest wish in my life is to satisfy my father and mother. “

In a few words, the voices of thousands of children.

Yes, how many children are eager to get their parents’ recognition throughout their lives.

But parents often can’t see the children who are in the corner silently.


Seeing the crying younger son Zhou Bingkun, who was crying and lonely, did he understand what the most lacking child who was not good enough?

How many children are waiting for the recognition of their parents throughout their lives

Zhou Bingkun is the most mediocre and most unpleasant of the three children of the Zhou family.

He did not study well. He could not be admitted to a first -class university like his brother and sister, found the same excellent partner, and engaged in a decent profession.

He could only be an ordinary worker in the factory and married a woman with a child as a wife.

My brother and sister are an excellent child in the father’s mouth and lived as the face of the parents.

He lived as his father’s most unwilling to mention it, and he was the most unsatisfactory.

But he still lived with a good heart, working hard with a wise mind, and looking forward to being seen by his father.

But his father poked him in the most hurtful words.

“From childhood to big, your brother and your sister are studying well. You, you are the last in the class, countdown!”

In fact, the uncomfortable child is the most worthy of the parents. They do not have a halo, and they are waiting for the eyes of their parents’ expectations and recognition.

Writer San Mao said:

“The achievements of a lifetime are not as good as my father’s appreciation.”

Yes, parents are the most closest to children, and the parents’ recognition can give their children the iron that reaches the mind.

The children who do not get their parents recognized, even if they succeed in life, have some regrets, even if they have won the world, they always have sorrows.

The relationship between the writer Qiong Yao and her parents has always been a thorn that she can’t pull out.


She has been good at poetry since she was a child and loves reading. She has a very good grade in Chinese, but she has always been unsatisfactory.

“In case you can’t get the test, it is not your failure, but the failure of the whole family.”

Her mother’s words were always beating Qiong Yao’s heart. She was so scared. She was afraid that she would have nightmares every day. She dreamed that others laughed at her and laughed at the daughter of the professor’s family could not go to college.


She became inferior, sensitive, and fragile. She couldn’t find the meaning of survival. She could only turn to the world of text for a moment of breathing.

The more she is eager to recognize her parents, the more things she goes with her wishes.

The publication of “Out of the Window” has lowered the relationship between her and her parents.


My father wrote to condemn her: “Do you think everyone likes this work and buy this book? Everyone just wants to see your romantic autobiography.”


Mother’s letter is sharp:


“In addition to betraying your parents, do you have any other skills? I gave birth to you to raise you, and I replaced you in this way -I wrote a book to scold your parents!”

The fierce response of her parents made her self -confidence. For the rest of her life, she has been running for the relationship with her parents.

She bought a big house with a manuscript fee and asked her parents to move.

Both father and mother have independent study rooms to do what they like.

She humbled her parents ‘favor, and looked forward to her parents’ recognition of her.

Adler individual psychology believes:

The purpose behind each person’s behavior is to seek a sense of value and belonging.

The recognition and encouragement from parents is the best manifestation of the sense of value and belonging of children.

Each child is eager to get the parents’ acceptance and praise, because it gives the child the strongest wings, which can let the child fight bravely.

The recognition and encouragement of parents is the wings of the child’s flying

Modern thinkers Liang Qichao can be called an example in their children’s education, creating a good story of “one three academicians, nine sons are talented”.

The professional choices of nine children are different, and they have made great achievements in their respective fields.


When her daughter Liang Sizhuang first arrived abroad, she had a specialty.


Liang Qichao suggested that his daughter read biology, and Liang Sizhuang obeyed his father’s suggestion.


But after studying, Liang Sizhuang complained that he had no interest in biology and could not learn.

Liang Qichao wrote to his daughter immediately after knowing it and told her:

“When you learn the best, you often have more effort because of your own nature.”

“Don’t have to set your father’s words.”


“Every brother and sister can learn diligently. I never blame your homework, but because I caught up too much, I was sick, and I was unhappy.”

After getting his father’s encouragement, Liang Sizhuang gave up biology and chose the library to learn where he was in his interest, such as fish.

When her daughter wanted to change her professional, Liang Qichao did not seek full blame, nor was he furious. Instead, he recognized his daughter’s thoughts and gave the greatest support. He believed that his children were diligently learning.

Alan Podton said:

“Our self -feelings and self -identification are completely subject to the evaluation of us around the people around us.”

Children’s sense of self -identification of health must first get recognition and encouragement from their parents. This is the source of children’s confidence and the power of flying.

My little Xiaodi was inadequate since she was a child, and she ran away from time to time. The classmates often laughed at her, and from then on, Xiaodi did not dare to sing in front of people.

Aunt Liu found that her daughter did not abandon her daughter like most parents after singing in singing.

Instead, he often uses a recorder to put the nursery rhyme, humming himself, and encourages her daughter to sing.


His ears, gradually Xiaodi no longer scared to sing. Sometimes when the mothers and daughters sings loudly.

Later, Xiaodi showed his style in the class chorus, and he became more and more confident since then.


If it wasn’t for her mother encouraged Xiaodi to sing over and over again, maybe she would be in a slump in singing, and the shadow may always accompany her growth.

American psychologist Parker said:

“In the hearts of tender children, their parents are their God, sacred and majestic.”

The children who do not get the recognition of their parents have a deep sense of inferiority and helplessness in their hearts. This feeling will accompany them in their lives and change their trajectory in their lives.

With the recognition and encouragement of parents, children can be confident and full, without any worries, fighting spirit and thorns on the road of life.

No matter how good the education, I can’t afford to recognize the child’s parents

We are seeking external recognition throughout our lives, and the recognition and encouragement of parents are the wealth of children’s life.


What should my parents do?

1. Give your children more companionship

The large -scale family education program “Teacher please answer”, such a family came.

The relationship between father and son in this family is cold. In the eyes of Dad, the son can only play, and it is useless. In his son’s eyes, Dad was irritable and didn’t care about him.

It turned out that the first three years when the father was born, he has been studying abroad, rarely accompanied the child, and he can’t find the flash point of the child. I don’t know where to start with the encouragement.

The advice given by the teachers is that Dad took more time to accompany his son, and his son also gave his father a chance to understand himself.

Dad deliberately took the time to accompany his son, and the relationship between the father and son did ease.

Dad also tried to discover the strength of his son, and encouraged it, and the laughter returned to the family.

2. Speaking of encouragement, not too late for time

When Guo Qilin starred in the drama “Niu Tianci”, Guo Degang suddenly came to power.

This surprised Guo Qilin, because his father never watched him act.

He was overjoyed to give his father a big hug, and he shed tears of happiness excitedly.

Guo Degang, who has always been strict with his son, patted his son’s back gently, and sincerely talked about his son’s long -awaited words:

“Acting better than me, I watched it early in the morning.”

Even if he has achieved impressive results, even if he has fame and fortune, the child still wants to get the recognition and encouragement of his parents most.

3. The best encouragement is to believe in children

At the Beijing Winter Olympics, Chinese teenager Su Yiming attracted much attention.

On February 15th, in the finals of the Ski Ski Men’s Dragon, he won the gold medal and became the youngest gold medal winner in the history of the winter Olympics. He also gave the best Lantern Festival gifts to the people across the country.

In fact, in addition to the identity of athletes, he is still an actor.

He starred in the corner of the small embolism of the movie “Wisdom to Wisdom”, and relying on his superb skiing skills to add a lot to the role.

Later, he participated in film and television works such as “Rock Boy”, “The Days of Born”, “His Royal Highness Wolf”, which was also remarkable and became a highly anticipated child star.

Being an actor or a professional skiers, becoming the first crossroads of Su Yiming’s life.

With the success of Beijing’s application for the Winter Olympics, the idea of ​​the country for the country made him choose the latter without hesitation.

Everyone knows that it is relatively safer to be an actor than skiing, but still choose to believe and support his decision.

There is a “Rosentear effect” in psychology, which refers to the eager hope of teachers for students and can receive the expected effect dramaticly.

This experiment tried to use teachers to students to students, and also applied to parents to children.

Parents believe that children can do it and guide them, and children can develop in the direction of their parents.

Doctor of Psychology Lin Wencai proposed a concept of “psychological nutrition”:

Psychological nutrition comes from the affirmation, praise, and identity of important others.

She believes that psychological nutrition is the same as physiological nutrition. Without sufficient psychological nutrition, people cannot be healthy.

Parents are the first important person of their children, and the recognition and encouragement from parents is the best psychological nutrition.


May parents not regret such psychological and nutrition, so that children will grow up healthy and encourage their health and become a better self.

—— END –

Author: Fireworks March, loves flowers and texts, and is willing to take children to see the high mountains and long mountains, clouds and clouds. Some pictures come from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.

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