According to the latest psychological survey research, 99 % of people have psychological problems. And immature is the biggest problem.


So what is mental maturity? It sounds a little mysterious. In fact, the so -called mature mind is good at discovering their own problems, bravely facing them, and using the right way to solve it.

You can seek the help of a psychologist, and you can improve your EQ through systematic learning.

However, the book “The Road to Flowers” has provided us with a different perspective to look at the problem of maturity of the mind. In the book, the author combines the cases of his years of psychological counseling to guide us to learn self -discipline, love, and faith. Grace to help us get on a mature journey.

Let’s talk about the author of this book, Scott Parker, a well -known psychologist in the United States, and has very high prestige in psychological counseling. What about him, there is a dream, hoping to improve people’s lives through psychology. When he feels that the clinic consultation has limited influence, he starts to tour, and the appearance fee will reach 15,000 US dollars. “the meaning of. Regarding him another interesting, he tried to run for the President of the United States to “treat the disease of this society”, but eventually gave up because he was worried that he would put too much pressure on himself.

The author believes that people can refuse anything, but they must not refuse to mature. Rejecting maturity is to avoid problems and avoid pain.

However, it is impossible for the mind to be mature. It is a difficult journey. So the author calls it a few people walking. This is also the origin of this book name.

Next, I will explain the content of this book from four perspectives.

First, self -discipline is the most important tool for solving life problems. So how can we achieve true self -discipline? Second, we are pursuing love throughout our lives, but what exactly do we love? Third, the author believes that with his own beliefs to have a mature heart. Fourth, grace is a gift from heaven. Are you ready to accept it?

Let’s start for you one by one.

01 Self -discipline is the main tool to solve the problem of life. So how can we achieve true self -discipline?

I think when most people see such a person, they must think that they are self -disciplined. They can insist on getting up on time at five o’clock in the morning and reading for one hour before running.

Indeed, in the cognition of those who go home, being able to persist in doing these is really super self -disciplined. However, the author tells you in the book that these are not true self -discipline.

You must be strange, what is true self -discipline?

The so -called self -discipline is to take the initiative to ask yourself to bear pain and solve problems with a positive attitude. The author proposes four principles in self -discipline: delaying satisfaction, responsibility, loyalty to facts, and maintaining balance.

What is delayed satisfaction? For a very simple example, everyone likes to eat the egg yolk of salty duck eggs. After all, the egg yolk with golden oil is really attractive.

Then when you eat salted duck eggs, eat the yolk you love to eat before eating the egg white? Or first eat the protein and leave the egg yolk slowly? For another example, when you do work, do you deal with simple things and wait until you have to do something difficult to deal with or deal with difficult things before doing other simple things?


But don’t underestimate the order of these two things, it can reflect your self -discipline. Whether you eat egg white or to do complex work first, it is a manifestation of delaying satisfaction.

There are at least two benefits to do this. First of all, in pain, our senses will be more keen and can find more problems. Second, we can bring more joy after solving the problem.


To take responsibility, this concept is much easier to understand than delayed satisfaction. Before we understand what we are responsible, we can first know the noun of the two psychological: neurotic disorders and personality disorders.

You don’t have to remember their concepts accurately. You only need to simply know that neurological disease is to impose responsibilities and personality disorders for yourself, and to shirk your responsibility. When contradictions with the outside world, the former thought it was wrong, and the latter blamed the error on others.

Obviously, both patients with neurosis or patients with personality disorders cannot reasonably determine the responsibility of responsibility, so they cannot be called self -discipline.

In fact, each of these symptoms, each of us has more or less biased.

For example, many college graduates blame the work that cannot find the ideal work on the pressure of social employment, and the number of graduates is too large. This social environment is not enough to find problems from their own abilities.

For another example, many people blame their circles that cannot be included in others. They are not cheerful and low in emotional intelligence, so they are caught in the lapona that is inferior. suits you.

The definition of responsibility is simply our own problem. We must face it and solve it. It is not their own responsibilities, and we don’t have to impose on ourselves. This is the attitude of a self -discipline.

Loyalty to facts is also one of the principles of self -discipline. As the author said, the more we understand the facts, the more handy we do; the less understanding the facts, the more confusing our thinking. False, illusion and fantasy can only make us overwhelmed.


You must not think that loyalty to the facts is very simple, it is really difficult. The concept of our face is like a map of life. Only with this map, we can understand the terrain, landforms and gully of life. The principle of loyalty to facts requires us to constantly revise this map of life.


When you are in your childhood, the world you see is one like, and in adulthood is another. Even when you have money, when you have no money, the world you see will be different. The difficulty of loyalty to fact is that you cannot update the existing concepts in time and modify your map of life in time.

The last principle of self -discipline is to maintain balance. Keeping a balance here is not to keep your body balance or external balance, but the balance of the soul. For example, when facing conflict, we must not be angry, because this will seem weak and incompetent; it should not be too angry, because it is too angry to damage health. So between anger and not angry, you need enough mind to weigh.

The most important principle of maintaining balance is to give up. When it comes to giving up, it will definitely bring pain. Many people do not choose to give up because they don’t want to suffer pain. As the saying goes: the old one does not go to the new one. Giving up actually means new life. Only when we constantly do subtraction can we realize true freedom.

Okay, this is the first content I told you today: self -discipline. Let’s summarize: self -discipline is not a simple adherence to the regular life, but to follow four principles: delaying satisfaction, responsibility, loyalty to facts, and maintaining balance.


02 Let’s see our minds that we are pursuing love for our lives, but what is love?

Love is a topic that we often talk about. But love has always been a vague concept: we often hang love on our mouths, but it seems that we don’t know what love is. In this book, the author puts forward a perfect definition of love: love is to promote the maturity of himself and others, and to continuously expand the self -boundaries and realize self -improvement. Hearing this definition, do you have a sudden and cheerful feeling?

In fact, for a long time, we have a variety of ridiculous understanding of love. Let’s take a look at these ridiculous misunderstandings.

The most common misunderstanding is to mistake the love of men and women as love. Speaking of which, you might say: What kind of ghost? Isn’t love love? It’s really not.

why? Leave a suspense here first, let’s discuss a noun in psychology first: self -bounds.

When we are still a baby, we don’t know the boundaries between ourselves and the outside world. When we wave our small arms and calves, we feel that the whole world follows us; when we feel hungry, we think the whole world is in the whole world. I’m hungry with us. But with the continuous increase of knowledge and experience, we will find that ourselves and the world are not the same thing at all. Then we slowly realize the size and physical limitations of our body. Such a cognition is the so -called self -bounds.

After understanding what is self -bounds, we will return to the topic of love. In a sense, love is the collapse of the self -boundaries we have established, so that our self -integration with others.

The collapse of this kind of self -boundaries will make us feel that we can break the self -limit and feel that we can conquer everything, but soon, after the passion of love retreats, daily chores and problems will cause two people to have various contradictions and conflicts. The self -boundaries of people are closed again, and they have recovered into two different individuals.

Now you know why love is not really love? Because real love will expand the self -boundaries instead of collapse. Maybe you will be disappointed, but love is just an illusion of love.

Another common misunderstanding of love is to depend on love. Excessive dependence may make us close to someone, and feel that leaving this life is meaningless.

On the surface, I love this person deeply, but in fact, it just depends on the other party. This expression of excessive dependence is: I just want to get it but do not want to pay. Such a mind will always stay in an immature state, which will only restrict and restrict life, and naturally cannot promote the growth of yourself and others.

Why do people have an over -dependence psychology? The root cause is actually lack of true love. Don’t ignore this over -dependence psychology, it may cause you to go to a sick life.


In fact, if you want to get love, you must first love yourself. If you become a person worthy of love, someone will love you. Unfortunately, few people can understand this truth.

Another misunderstanding of love is to sacrifice self as love.

One of my friends, a particularly irresponsible father, was drunk all day long, regardless of him. When he was a child, he swear that he will never grow up like his father. Later, when he became a father, his child was indeed meticulous, and he had to do everything for him.

But what puzzled him was that even if he paid so much for the child, the child’s relationship with him was not harmonious, not only so that his son became a young master who would not even wash clothes. A word that friends often hang on their mouths are: I do n’t know how to be grateful for you for your hard work?

Actually, my friend is not a real love for his son. He thinks that his self -sacrifice is love for children, but his real purpose is to maintain the image of his good father. Excessive love is worse than not, but when it is time to refuse, it is not kind but harm. This is what I learned from this friend.

We have discussed so many misunderstandings, so what is true love? The famous psychologist Luo Luomei once said: If we use modern psychological analysis tools to analyze the wishes of everyone’s love, we will find that the essence of love for love is actually a kind of attention. In order to fulfill the effort to fulfill their wishes, it is the efforts of attention, that is, to pay attention.

You may hear a little in the clouds. In short, it is: love, the most important manifestation is attention. The most common and important way to pay attention to is to listen hard. When we listen, we first put our personal thoughts and desires aside, focus on each other’s body, and strive to experience the other person’s inner world and feelings. This is actually the expansion of self -bounds, that is, love.

Love will also face various risks. For example, the risk of loss: Because the time of love is limited, the person we love will leave us sooner or later. One day we will bear the risk of loss when the one we loves to leave; Only when people realize their complete self and gain the independence of the soul can they be able to love others.

For example, the risk of investment: sufficient investment is one of the cornerstones of true love. However, the devotion of the whole body cannot guarantee the smooth sailing of emotional relationships; for example: the risk of conflict. One of the greatest risks of love is the accusations and humility when conflicting.


Okay, this is the second content I told you today: love. Let’s summarize: Love is a kind of willingness to promote self -bounds and realize self -improvement in order to promote the maturity of ourselves and others. Taking love, dependence, and self -sacrifice as love is actually a misunderstanding of love. The most important manifestation of love is attention, and the best way to follow is to listen hard. Love will also face many risks, such as loss of risks, independent risks, risks of input and conflict.

03 The author believes that with his own beliefs, you can have a mature mind

Usually, our understanding of faith is too narrow, thinking that there is faith, it means to believe in the gods and join a believer organization. In fact, it is wrong to think so. Understanding is a category of faith.


Our initial belief comes from the family environment of our growth, and parents are the cultivators of our beliefs. If the world is a large universe, then the family is a small universe. The insights and feelings of the family determine our view of the essence of the world. Parents’ words and deeds have created a unique external world for us. On this basis, we gradually formed our own world view.

Is that the worldview formed under the influence of native families cannot be changed? of course not.

With the continuous strengthening of self -discipline and the increase in love and life experience, we will become more and more understand the surrounding world, as well as the position of our own world. By continuously studying and slowly using scientific beliefs to replace parents’s beliefs from the beliefs of their parents , Constantly challenge the Little Universe Law, and update their own outlook on life and world view.

Okay, this is the third content I told you today: belief.

04 Summary

Let’s summarize: Each of us has its own beliefs, the so -called belief is the understanding and understanding of life. Our initial belief comes from the influence of the parents of the native family, but with the richness of the experience and the maturity of the mind, we can update our own outlook on life and world outlook by learning.

Below, let’s look at the fourth content in the mature journey of mind: grace is a gift from God to us. Are you ready to accept it?

What is grace? It sounds a bit abstract. Grace is the power other than consciousness. This power can nourish the mind of people and make people grow. It is a gift from heaven.


I don’t know if you will often see in the news that the car has been deformed in a car accident, but the people inside are intact; and a video in the previous Weibo, a child is crushed by the wheels by the wheels, a child is crushed by the wheels There is a miraculous survival; there is a child falling from the 8th floor but not hurting. Are these miracles that also make you incredible?

And such a moment of time will happen to yourself. For example, I have been hit by a car many times when I walk on a bike or drive; I almost almost fell from the window upstairs; many times I almost stabbed my eyes by the sharp things, but I was healthy and healthy. Live now.

You may say that these are just an accident or I am lucky. However, everyone will encounter countless things in many times in their lives, and some are even unaware of it. It seems that there is no persuasion with an accident or luck.

And when you are doing one thing or going to a certain place, you will feel that you have done the same thing one day or you seem to have been here.

I don’t know if you found that these magical phenomena we described above have several things in common: they are good for us; they cannot explain with existing scientific theories and known natural rules; Different people will happen repeatedly; they are more or less affected by consciousness, and their roots are beyond consciousness and subjective thinking.

Actually, these are the grace that God has given us. This kind of grace is the power other than consciousness. It comes from the subconscious, and it comes from the people we love to love except parents, and other channels we cannot understand. With the care of grace, even if we do not have the love and care of our parents, we can overcome the trauma of the soul and become a loving person.

The heavenly grace will care for everyone, but why can only a small number of people achieve the maturity of the mind? The reason is that most people refuse to accept the grace and ignore the hands of God’s extension. Because of the grace, it means to bear more responsibilities. For example, when we were young, we longed for the freedom and strength of adults, but we didn’t want to bear the responsibility of adults. Therefore, we would rather be a child who is not old and unwilling to accept the grace of growing up.


If we want to mature minds and be free, we must welcome the coming of grace. If we can fully follow the principles of self -discipline in life and full of love in our hearts, we can make the preparation of weaven to give us grace, and we can cultivate our hearts into a fertile soil and let the seeds of grace thrive.

This is the fourth content I told you: grace. Now let’s summarize: We often encounter some magical events that are in the end of their deaths. These are actually the grace that God has given us. But most people refuse to undertake the grace of heaven because the grace means to bear more responsibilities. If you want to get the maturity of your mind, you must learn to follow the principles of self -discipline.

05 How to go to the journey of mind

First: Self -discipline. In order to achieve true self -discipline, we must follow the four principles of delaying satisfaction, responsibility, loyalty to facts, and maintaining balance. Second: Love is a kind of willingness to continue to expand the self -boundaries and realize self -improvement in order to promote the maturity of yourself and others. Third: Everyone has their own beliefs. The so -called belief is their understanding and understanding of life.

Fourth: Grace is the power other than consciousness. This power can nourish the mind of people and make people grow. It is a gift from heaven. But accepting this gift means to bear more responsibilities. If you want to get the maturity of your mind and the freedom of the soul, you must learn to follow the principles of self -discipline, full of love in your heart, and be ready to meet the grace.

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